I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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