She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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