Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
