Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
