Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.

  (951): View more from California

  Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.

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  (951): Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night. (951): Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended. http://tfl.nu/dcrw
  Replies (24) Good night (1518) Bad night (2419)
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  (+52): View more from Mexico

  I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore

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  (+52): I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore http://tfl.nu/b0tv
  Replies (52) Good night (2850) Bad night (1283)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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  (954): You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone. http://tfl.nu/c0ys
  Replies (33) Good night (3978) Bad night (682)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday

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  (701): Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday http://tfl.nu/rqca
  Replies (36) Good night (4564) Bad night (840)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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  (847): You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive. http://tfl.nu/z8kz
  Replies (19) Good night (7153) Bad night (1238)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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  (717): no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/m579
  Replies (5) Good night (3622) Bad night (715)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...

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  (832): the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left... http://tfl.nu/9li6
  Replies (6) Good night (605) Bad night (1250)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.

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  (321): He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector. http://tfl.nu/k71r
  Replies (10) Good night (1451) Bad night (492)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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  (808): I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough? http://tfl.nu/nifs
  Replies (21) Good night (1399) Bad night (811)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT

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  (931): ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT http://tfl.nu/g173
  Replies (21) Good night (574) Bad night (353)
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  (858): View more from California

  So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?

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  (858): So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom? http://tfl.nu/h0sv
  Replies (13) Good night (1583) Bad night (439)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue

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  (610): I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue http://tfl.nu/1cyh
  Replies (9) Good night (501) Bad night (1157)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.

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  (307): I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it. http://tfl.nu/nkno
  Replies (4) Good night (296) Bad night (940)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon

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  (704): I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon http://tfl.nu/9347
  Replies (0) Good night (261) Bad night (424)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous

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  (248): Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous http://tfl.nu/u4ke
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (310)

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