Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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