a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out