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• (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

  (909): View more from California

  I'm scared to ask why.....

  (509): View more from Washington

  1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  do you want to shower with me?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot

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