Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
