So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
