she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize