Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
