i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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