I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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