On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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