I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
