He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize