Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
third nipple confirmed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
