sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
