whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
