so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
