he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
