Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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