she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize