i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
