can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
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Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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