This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
