I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
