He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
