Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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