just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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