I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
