Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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