we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
