I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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