i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
