I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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