i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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