It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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