Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
