we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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