it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
