If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
