yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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