It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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