how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
