If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
