I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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