Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
