Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
