my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
