I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
