He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize