Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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