it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
