I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
