who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
