You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
